January 19, 2013

Ancient Tactics Men Use to Initiate Sex

Watching a man try to get in them draws is somewhat like an Olympic sport.  They go through training, learn the same technique, and the male with the best delivery and a bit of genetic favor wins - always.

I'd love to grow up a male - just to see what cult-like Pimpin' is Pimpin' class they have to graduate from in order to earn their balls.  Dudes use the SAME approach to dating and they SWEAR they are different from any other man on the planet! 

This one gets me everytime it is almost comical - The Massage.  Every man on this planet has used this as bait to feel up on a woman. I don't care if he's 15 or 50!  They will always ask for a massage or offer to give one.  This routine is so tired I can literally count down when they plan on using this tactic - right around the third date.  And when they open with a sad gym story about being sore - I am too through!  If he's a 10 I'll just ignore it, if he's a 5.5 these eyes get to rolling so far back in my head I need a GPS to see.  Seriously, did yall all read the same How to Get Pussy book.  Sadly, women will always fall for this the first time :)

Another universal Pimpin' is Pimpin' 101 tactic is - The Movie Night.  Dear God make them stop!  No, I do not want to lay up in the house with you watching Ted.  I don't know you - I don't want to hear your stomach rumble and nor do I want to hear all them stank burbs you're trying to hold back.  Poor thangs just be gassy.  Men will never fail to use this move.  It's cheap for them and is an automatic excuse to cuddle (among other things).  9 times out of 10 I ignore this one as well.  Nope - not interested, heard it all before!  NEXT!

So I say all that to say this, men's tired game is effective - it works, yes.  If I were a male, I would probably go for quantity and not quality as well.  At least until abusing my penis no longer amused me and I craved for a mental connection with another human being.  But dang, if you are between the ages of 25-30 you NEED to switch it up and get creative.  By this time in life we have heard it all!  If you are between the ages of 18 - 21, the above techniques will get you laid a few times.  At that time in life we don't know any better - unfortunately.

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